Divorce Survival Kit 

Posted: Wednesday April 19 2017

By: Guest Blogger

Divorce Survival Kit

By Consilia Family Law & Mediation

Getting divorced can be an incredibly stressful and uncertain time. The fear of the unknown in any situation whether it be about the future of our relationship, work or health can lead our survival mode to kick in which doesn’t always result in us making the right choices. Not to mention, our beloved friends and family try to impart their own wisdom on our terrible situation, whether we like it or not!

When couples decide to separate, the way in which they conduct themselves through a divorce can have a dramatic impact upon the journey they experience and the end result.

It is therefore essential for any person going through a divorce or separation that they have a survival kit to hand to ensure they make it through the process with as few cuts and bruises as possible. Here are my top 5 essential tools you need to survive a divorce:-

Time

The legal and practical implications following a separation do not resolve themselves overnight. You therefore need to be realistic about timescales so that you can manage your own expectations about when this is difficult situation is going to be over. Try to compartmentalise each stage of the process and deal with it one step at a time rather than trying to race to the end without having the time to consider the path you are going down and whether it’s the right one for you.

Focus on you

It’s easier said than done, but try not to let your mind be consumed by thoughts of what your ex-partner/spouse is saying, doing and thinking. This is the time to concentrate on your own future and feeling positive about the next chapter rather than focusing your energy on negative feelings towards him or her. Concentrate on your own behaviour so that you can look back over the experience knowing that you handled it with self-respect and dignity.

Cost

Divorce proceedings can be expensive. Find out about the realistic costs as early as possible so that you can properly plan for it and budget accordingly rather than there being nasty surprises which only add to the stress and upset you may be feeling. Manging the costs of divorce can help you to feel in control which in turn will help you to make balanced decisions about your future.

Professional Advice

Your friends and family will be very concerned about you during your separation and will try to help by offering their own advice. Whilst this will be with good intentions it may not be the advice which will serve you best through a divorce. It is important to get professional legal advice about processes, your rights and obligations and possible outcomes so that you can equip yourself to make the best decisions for you. You may decide to call upon your friends and family for emotional support, but there’s also no shame in seeking professional help from a counsellor or life coach to help manage those emotions positively.

Remember the Children

It goes without saying that children should be the most paramount consideration when dealing with a divorce or separation. However it’s not just about what your children say to you but also what they’re not saying or how they might behave. Many children don’t speak to their parents about how they feel about the divorce and they can sometimes get lost in a battle between the two people they love the most. What is often most important to them is knowing that their parents still get along or are at least civil to one and other. With that in mind, try to avoid conflict with your ex-partner and only speak positively about them in front of your children. If you can successful co-parent as a separated couple, you children will thank you for it no end when they reach adulthood.

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# Divorce survival